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Sort of Single

Girls and me-Big Pink Chair
BY SANDE SNEAD

I fancy myself a bit of a Carrie Bradshaw figure as I write this essay about life as a single on my laptop – except that I don’t live in the greatest city in the world, I don’t have a cool apartment, nor do I own a single pair of Jimmy Choos. Okay, my life is nothing like the characters on Sex and the City. I live in a house in the suburbs, I never have time for brunch with friends, and I have had one boyfriend for the past three years – oh, and I have teenage daughters.

My girls aren’t dating yet, but if they were, I’m sure I’d be telling them to get off the phone – it’s the one role reversal we are experiencing. They just can’t figure out what my boyfriend and I have to talk about all the time. He has pushed me to try new things and to revisit activities I once enjoyed. I’ve gone scuba diving, snowmobiling and motorcycling. I’ve taken up skiing and water skiing. I’ve also had more opportunities to travel.

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Deciding when to introduce your significant other to your children is one of the biggest questions in the life of a divorceé. We waited nearly a year to do all the introductions – way longer than most people thought we should. We listened to our instincts and instead of foisting ourselves onto the children, we waited for our kids to tell us they were ready.

Now that everyone knows each other and gets along well, we combine the families every now and then – dinner out, dinner in, a game of football, board games, a movie, boating, weekend getaways, but we limit these outings and try to take our cues from the children. None of us is ready to be the Brady Bunch.

This appeared in Richmond Magazine on Nov. 9, 2008. Many things have changed since this was written…